"I listen more and react less. I am more aware of when I project onto others, and am forgiving of myself when I do. "
Before I started Kundalini Yoga, my behaviour was, for the most part, unconscious. Although I'd been journeying inward for what feels like my entire life. I was craving a depth that I didn't experience in the Yoga classes I was previously taking and after my first Kundalini class, I felt a powerful shift unlike anything else I'd ever experienced.
However, I was resistant to a regular practice as I was attached to my current way of life, my group of friends and I felt as though the Kundalini community wasn't 'my tribe'. I felt an imaginary expectation from the community for me to conform. I simply wasn't ready.
What eventually grabbed me was the music, the power of mantra and the depth of emotion I would experience after a class. After I attended the Kundalini Yoga festival in Sydney and experienced the live music and the many different walks of life within the community, I felt a richness and a colour that, up until that point, had escaped me.
As I've gained a greater awareness of myself, I've had to make some decisions about relationships that, although I cherish them dearly, are not serving my expression anymore. I've taken a step away from friendships that I've nurtured for over a decade and, at first, that was challenging as I had to grieve the end of a life chapter. It flowed effortlessly once I connected with what feels right for me. I also stepped away from a four year relationship with my partner that I realized was no longer serving me. That was tough as I loved him dearly, and still do.
One of the surprising benefits from my Kundalini Yoga practice is that I've come to know the anger within me more. However, I've realise now that this isn't something to be suppressed. I have learned ways to observe, contain, and direct the energy in a healthy way. I am more accepting of myself during times when anger shows as I can determine the truth of its appearance as opposed to unconsciously projecting it onto others. Anger is now a part of me that needs awareness, like every other part of my psyche.
Other benefits of my practice at Centre for Life include having the opportunity to connect with a lot of people that live with integrity and awareness and, as such, I can engage on a deeper level. Witnessing others' conscious life choices continually inspires me to step up. I have gained tools to be able to develop a daily spiritual practice that works for me and am feeling a lot more balanced as a result. I have an amazing support network where a lot of wisdom is shared and so I feel as though whatever I need, I just have to reach out.
Now I feel much more present when communicating with others. This has allowed my relationships to expand greatly. I listen more and react less. I am more aware of when I project onto others, and am forgiving of myself when I do.
Oh, that's another thing Kundalini Yoga has taught me; to observe without labeling experiences, self and others as 'good' or 'bad'.
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